A Grumpy Christmas Read online

Living alone, it was easier to only use one set of everything all day, rinsing in between use. I ran the dishwasher once a week. Washing a lot of dishes while in a wheelchair was a strain on the back which I attempted to minimize as much as possible. At the end of each day, what I had used went into the dishwasher. At the end of each week, the dishwasher would be loaded enough to run and my process started all over again.

  I made quick work of storing the leftovers. The containers which needed refrigeration all went into the fridge. I left the cookie tin and the few dinner rolls I hadn’t eaten on the counter.

  That night was nightmare-free for the first time in forever, as glimpses of an energetic omega with a cute ass flitted through my dreams. It was the best night’s sleep I’d gotten in years.

  Chapter Four

  Max

  The days since Thanksgiving raced by. While I enjoyed the visit with my family, watching their eyes light up at the house I’d chosen, entertaining the whole crew had been exhausting. It was almost a relief when the last person boarded the flight to head home to Upstate New York.

  I hadn’t seen my neighbor since I’d taken Thanksgiving dinner over to him. It had been a spur-of-the-moment idea I still didn’t know why I did. The idea of the man being alone without a turkey dinner had seemed abhorrent to me.

  Pierce Knowles was younger than I’d expected from what the neighbors had said. My brain had conjured up a wizened old man with gray hair and wrinkled with age. While the man in question had a little gray at the temples and a few strands in his days-old scruff, old was not what I’d call him. Sure, he couldn’t be more than fifteen years older than me. As for wrinkles, a few crow’s feet were the only evidence of the man’s advancing years.

  If he hadn’t been sitting in the wheelchair, I wouldn’t have thought there was anything wrong with him at first glance. Pierce was built like a tank, all bulging muscles and ripped abs. It had taken everything in me not to gasp when I’d seen there was only one leg on the footrest. Not knowing what to say, the words had rushed out of me. I’d been in and out of the man’s house so fast, I’m surprised I hadn’t tripped in my haste. So embarrassing. I hoped my neighbor didn’t think I was a total moron.

  I’d never met anyone who was missing a limb before. At least, I didn’t think I had. I remember some kid in high school doing a report on the advances of prosthetics in science class, but I hadn’t really paid much attention. I was sure there were lots of people walking around with devices that might look like they were the real thing until one looked really closely. Something I rarely did. It was embarrassing how self-centered I’d been even a year ago, never taking the time to notice others around me who were different. I hoped I’d gotten better as I’d gotten older. Based on how I acted with my neighbor, I wasn’t all that sure I’d matured as much as I thought I had in the last few years.

  As I sorted through one image after another on a stock website looking for the perfect cover model, it didn’t take long to realize my neighbor was taking up more space in my head than he should have. Even though I was looking for a young omega in his early twenties, every picture I had bookmarked displayed an older alpha with gray at his temples. The only difference was the men in the pictures were smiling or trying to give off a sexy alpha vibe.

  I wondered what Pierce would look like if he smiled. The man was drop-dead gorgeous. If it weren’t for the tight line of his lips and the slightly forlorn look to him when I’d barged in on him, the alpha would be a stunner. Hell, I thought he was hot, and I’d never considered going for an older man before. Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine Pierce Knowles with a deep seductive stare as he looked at me. His slate-gray eyes would be smoky, darkening as desire swirled in them.

  I could almost imagine the man reaching out a hand to tip my chin up as he leaned in for a kiss. His lips would be firm, but giving as they met mine. Maybe he’d taste of chocolate and oranges, my favorite flavors, as his tongue swept into my mouth as he sought a seductive duel with me. Groaning, my cock hardened at the thought. I’d never been turned on so much by an alpha. Rubbing the outline of my hard dick through my pants, my breath hitched. My fingers lifted to the zipper tab, pulling it down. It was only halfway when the doorbell rang. Fuck!

  Pulling the zipper back up, I stood, taking a breath before walking down the hall to the front of the house. I couldn’t see anyone through the glass, but I didn’t hesitate to open the door. Pierce Knowles sat on the walkway, his lap piled high with empty containers.

  “Mr. Knowles, you didn’t have to bring those back. They’re those disposable kinds that you can use for a while but throw away,” I said, smiling down at the alpha.

  “Call me Pierce. Mr. Knowles sounds too much like my father.” Pierce shrugged his massive shoulders. “I wasn’t sure. I’ve never had this kind of container. It looks pretty sturdy for disposable. Anyway, I washed them. Do whatever you want with them.” He lifted the stack, raising them for me to take.

  As I grabbed the containers, I questioned the man shamelessly, hoping he’d stay for a few more brief moments. “How did you like the cookies?”

  A small grin twitched at the man’s lips though he didn’t break out into a full smile. He nodded his head as he answered. “The cookies were amazing. I’ve never had anything quite like them before. Everything was good. Really good. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I’m glad you liked it.”

  Nodding, the alpha flicked a wrist, sending his wheelchair backwards. “I need to go, but thank you for the food. It was very thoughtful of you.”

  Before I could think of anything else to say, the man was gone, rolling across the lawn toward his house. I shamelessly watched the play of muscles as his strong arms maneuvered the chair up the ramp and through the door of his home. In the back of my head, a stray thought wondered what it would be like to have those strong arms wrapped around me. I shivered at the delicious thought. I bet that would be amazing.

  Chapter Five

  Pierce

  Early in December, I made the trip to the cemetery to commemorate the anniversary of the worst event in my life. Since the paths weren’t the best when it came to wheelchair maneuverability, I was wearing my prosthesis. Walking was exhausting and by the end of the day, I’d be in pain. Not visiting wasn’t an option. I walked down the long row until I came to the headstone on a double plot.

  The plot had been intended to be the final resting place of me and my omega, sometime in the far distant future when our son was a grown man with a family of his own. Instead, it held my omega and our young son, who’d barely been ten years old when he was taken from me. It wasn’t enough time. The years I’d had with them had gone by in a flash. We thought we’d had our whole lives ahead of us. It turned out Grant and I only had sixteen years together, a drop in the bucket of the years we should have had.

  Kneeling down, I plucked a stray weed. The groundskeeper here did a good job of keeping the plots well-tended. I emptied the old flowers from the vases built into the headstone, one on each side.

  In Grant’s, his favorite flowers. Carnations.

  In Craig’s, the deep purple flowers from the Butterfly Bush I’d helped him plant in our backyard when he was determined to attract as many butterflies to our yard as possible. It had been a colorful year as bloom after bloom attracted several species of the little winged creatures. Craig had carefully researched the needs of butterflies through every stage of their life cycle, taking care to choose plants which fed the mature butterflies and plants which could feed the caterpillars which would hatch from the eggs they laid. Our backyard had become one big science experiment which lived on in the blossoms I carefully set into the vase. Perhaps a butterfly would find its way to Craig’s flowers here in the cemetery. I was sure my son would like that very much.

  Standing, I wiped the tears I knew were falling. After all these years, this grave was the only place I could let go enough to show what was left of my grief. I’d raged and yelled out many times over the years, but here in the
quiet, the tears fell silently. I had no words for how much I missed my guys. The grief was crippling at times. Sometimes, I wondered how I bore the pain that shredded my heart.

  Hours later, the sun sank low behind the trees and I picked myself up from the ground, groaning at the stiffness which had sunk into my bones. I should know better than to sit in one position too long. The tears had all dried up, but the pain in my heart remained.

  It was full dark by the time I pulled my car up to my garage. As I waited for the door to raise, I noticed the lights on next door. Max was visible through the window. At first, I thought he had company as I watched him swing his arms and dance around, but his driveway was empty. His mouth moved while his hips swayed to music only he could hear, singing along. His smile made my heart hitch. It was dreamy, and even from this distance I could see he was enjoying himself.

  A thought flitted through my head, making me wonder what it would be like to be in his presence, to have some of the joy wash off onto me. It had been so long since I’d been happy. I’d forgotten what it was like to smile. Max had brought that out in me the other day. It hadn’t been much, but it was the first time I’d come anywhere close to having anything to smile about.

  Shaking my head, I pulled into the garage and shut off the engine before pushing the button to lower the door. I’d had my chance at happiness. Grant had been my fated mate. The one omega who was made for me. We only felt that bond with one person and mine was gone. I wouldn’t feel that way about another person again and it was foolish to wish for something that would never be.

  Besides, I was too old for a young omega like Max. He had his whole life ahead of him. Somewhere out there, waiting, was Max’s fated mate. That mate wasn’t me.

  Chapter Six

  Max

  The month of December was almost over by the time I decided to put up lights. My tree was already up, the inside of the house covered in so many decorations it looked like it had vomited Christmas. I couldn’t help myself. It was my first Christmas in my own home, allowing me to go a little overboard with the holiday trimmings. The vaulted ceilings had encouraged me to get the largest tree on the lot, something I hadn’t quite thought through when it came time to drag it in the door and set it in the stand, but I’d managed.

  I’d had to go out and purchase extra lights and ornaments to fill in the gaps. Being the smart omega I was, I thought I’d been extra ingenious by putting the angel on top of the tree before I’d set it in the stand. It worked even if the angel tilted at an awkward angle by the end of the journey.

  Since I worked at home, I didn’t go outside every day, reminding me I still had an outside canvas to paint my joy of the holiday. So it wasn’t until today I had purchased outdoor lights. Moving the ladder a few more feet, I climbed the rungs, leaning over to grab the string. The ladder shuddered but held. Soon, I had a little routine going where I squeezed the built-in clips into place a few feet, climbed down the ladder, moved it a few feet and climbed back up to start all over again. Within a short amount of time, the front of the house was almost done. I was quite proud of what I’d accomplished.

  I couldn’t help the smile that lit my face as I inserted the plug into the outlet, watching as the brightly colored lights glowed. It was still too early to see them very well, but they worked. Looking at my yard, a feeling of satisfaction came over me as my eyes moved over the wooden gingerbread men I’d planted in the yard. Next to the driveway, I’d hammered in a sign wishing all a Merry Christmas into the ground. The yard was welcoming, sparking a warm glow in my soul.

  Folding the ladder, I turned at the sound of wheels on the concrete driveway. Pierce sat there, taking in the yard while shaking his head. “You might have gone a little overboard there.”

  I smiled. I couldn’t help myself. “Maybe.”

  His lips twitched. I wondered what it would take to wring out a full-on smile from the man.

  I was careful of what I said, because the holidays did weird things to people who were alone. The man had apparently lost his omega, so I guessed Christmas might not be a great time for the man.

  “You doing anything special for the holidays?”

  Pierce shook his head. “No. I don’t celebrate Christmas anymore. That’s a holiday for families. Your family flying in again?”

  “Oh no. Thanksgiving was enough. I love my family but they are a bit much to take at times. I’m staying home. I wanted to spend my first Christmas here.”

  Pierce nodded, then turned away to head back inside. I wasn’t quite ready for the man to leave so I said the first thing that popped into my head. “You could spend Christmas Day with me if you’d like. I’ve got a small feast planned. Way too much food for just me. I’d love to share it with you.”

  “Oh, I don’t know, Max. That’s a generous offer, but I’m not very good company these days.”

  “Think about it. I’ll keep the offer open. Just knock on the door if you get lonely and come on over. I promise to feed you way too much good food and sing so many Christmas carols you’ll run screammmmm… oh.” I couldn’t believe that came out of my mouth. My mouth which dropped open as I stood there wondering how the hell I was going to ever apologize to the man. “I…”

  Unbelievably, Pierce actually cracked a grin so wide it was blinding. “Believe it or not, I can still run. I’ve got a leg in the house made for it.”

  As I tried again to apologize, Pierce held up a hand. “Please, Max. It’s okay. I knew what you meant when you said it. And that you didn’t mean anything by it.”

  “Still. I’m so sorry. It just kind of popped out. I wasn’t thinking.”

  “Maybe that’s a good thing. You don’t seem all that turned off by my chair or the fact I’m missing a leg. You never ask, but you also never give those weird sympathetic looks strangers give me like they’re sorry for me but glad at the same time that it isn’t them.”

  “No, I’d never. I don’t know what happened, but your injury shouldn’t define you. You’re still a man. You look fit. You obviously take care of yourself. I’m sure there’s still a lot you can do despite your missing leg. I have to admire how strong you are in the face of all the adversity you’ve had to overcome. It takes a great strength to come back from a terrible injury like yours and keep your independence. I admire that.”

  “Don’t admire me too much, Max. I’m a cranky old man who’s gotten too set in his ways to remember what it feels like to live.”

  “Maybe you just need someone to show you how.” Not expecting a response, I moved the ladder to the next spot, unfolding it and lining it up with the empty section of the eaves. It was the last section in need of lights.

  Making sure the ladder was steady, I climbed up, grabbing the section of lights hanging from the last clip on my way up. I made quick work of the few remaining lights until the last three. It was stupid, but I didn’t want to take the time to climb down to move the ladder for three little lights. Reaching out, the next light was easy to clip to the roof. I had to stretch further for the next one. The last light was too far out of reach no matter how hard I tried. As I eased back, my foot slipped. Everything afterward was a blur as I let loose of the lights, grabbing the ladder as it rocked under me.

  The ground came up on me faster than I expected as I twisted in an attempt to land anywhere soft that wasn’t right on top of the ladder. My lungs burst as the air was forced out of them, making breathing a desperate thing I needed to do to get air, but my body forgot how for a split second. Fear crept in even as I tried to force it back and remember how to breathe.

  Chapter Seven

  Pierce

  For a moment, I wondered what it would be like to make the young omega mine. Each time we met, that inner glow that lived inside the man shone brighter, making me want some of his warmth. It didn’t matter that I was too damn old for him. It didn’t even matter that he deserved someone more than me. Someone whole. In that moment, I wanted Max even though I shouldn’t.

  Max moved the ladder, clim
bing on as I grabbed the wheels on my chair. I couldn’t watch as the young man decorated his home. He was so full of joy and happiness. He had yet to learn how life could kick you in the teeth when you least expected it.

  “It’s getting late. I need to go back inside. Be careful up on that ladder,” I said before turning away, making a swift retreat. The man was too good for the likes of me. Somewhere out there was some young buck who’d make it his mission to make Max happy. It sure as hell couldn’t be me. I was too broken.

  My wheels hadn’t even left Max’s driveway before the sound of something hitting the ground reached me. Turning, I saw Max’s body lying on the ground next to the ladder. His hand reached for his chest, grabbing at his shirt as he tried to suck in a breath. Not even locking my wheels, I threw myself from the wheelchair, hopping to Max because it was faster. As I sank to the ground, it became apparent he’d had the wind knocked out of him as he tried and failed to get any air into his lungs. His groans filled the air as I sank to the ground next to him.

  “Max. Max!” I shook him to get his attention. Fear emanated from his eyes as he looked into mine. Grabbing his hand, I spoke with my most reassuring voice despite the fact he’d scared me so much and my heart was racing. “It’s okay, Max. You just got the wind knocked out of you. Concentrate on breathing. Slow and steady. It will right itself.”

  Max relaxed as I grabbed his hand, making soothing motions as my thumb stroked his skin. Slowly, he caught a breath, then another, until soon he was breathing normally and the small moans he made faded off.

  “Are you hurt anywhere? It wasn’t much of a fall, but you could still have sprained something.”

  “No, nothing hurts. Well, ’cept maybe my pride. I shouldn’t have tried reaching so far out.”

  “It’s okay. Do you think you can get up?”